not what we expected

Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball now and then. Or maybe it's a roller coaster ride. The whole beautiful thing we call life. Not knowing, but planning what you want. Working for what you want.  Praying for what you want. Thinking your going one way, but suddenly life takes you down a different road. A longer road. And we had just had a huge curve ball thrown our way.
Thankfully Simon was fine with keeping our cows for a few more months while we were continuing our search for a farm. We worked out a deal with him for keeping the cows. For that we were  thankful. We hated the thought of having to sell them only a day or so after we bought them, thinking we would surely be buying a place soon...

We were tired and feeling a little down to be honest. Who wouldn't?  We were still looking in the same areas. Nothing was changing, except our frustration. My frustration. I was wanting to go anywhere. I started looking way out of the box we had put ourselves in. Matthew still wasn't there. Yet. He would look at them, but too far away.
Now don't think harshly of him. This town was his home for almost all his life. His family lives here. His grandfather helped start the fire department that he volunteered at. He helped start the rescue. Our kids were the 9th generation in this town. He is the Scout Master of the scout troop that our son is part of. I kept all that in my mind, but still looked all over. I don't have that connection that he does. I love my family, his family, my friends and church, I even came to love this little town. But I wanted a farm more then I wanted to stay in the same townish area.
I was restless. The kids were restless. Matthew was restless. Nothing seemed to be working out in the land of buying a farm.
 Matthew and I would go for walks down the quiet road in the evening. We tried so hard to talk of something besides buying a farm. But both our minds were consumed with it. Sometimes we would walk in silence for a long time.  I was feeling a huge tug on my heart about leaving the plot of land we had lived on for 18 years. Yup. 18 years we rented the same place. So many memories. The buildings are ours, but not the land. We tried to buy the land, but the owner didn't want to sell. But as always on our walks we would end up talking about moving. Going over and over the places for sale and counting each one out after talking about all the pros and cons.   If you know me at all or have followed my blog you know how much I love the sunset. I love to watch the sky change and turn into all shades of colors as God tucks the sun in the west behind the mountains and the color fades and changes and gets darker. It's probably my favorite time of day in the summer. The view was spectacular.  I would always tell Matthew that where ever we moved we had to have a sunset. He would always tell me "God has a place for us, and it will be more and better then anything we ever expected. It's just not for sale yet. But I know it's coming and it's going to happen just like that." And as he would say that last part he would snap his fingers, and then he would lace his fingers back into mine and we would walk.
With winter approaching and 12 head of cattle to house we were wondering where we would put 2 of them. We had no idea. The Matthew sold something on Craigslist and when the guy came to pick the item up they started chatting about farming. The man being a farmer also. When Matthew laughing said we had 2 cattle we weren't sure where we would house for the winter the man offered his cattle trailer for them. We gladly took him up on it and that is where 2 cows spent the winter, with daily access to the outside! Things have a way of working out.
After more months of looking and nothing looking like we were going to buy and another Oct 1 coming faster then we would have liked, and knowing another winter was coming...