Monday, February 12, 2018

life tipped on its axis

Our youngest was sick.
 I had never seen her like this before. None of the other kids were sick. She would be OK, then spike a fever, turn white as sheet of paper, grab her stomach and burst into tears. This would last about 10 minutes. Then she would get color back, the pain would subside. The fever stayed. This would happen at different times in the day. She would sleep, a lot. This lasted a couple days when I called the Dr. Things were not changing and she was not getting better. My Mommy's heart was in my throat. I couldn't make her feel better.
We were sent to the hospital to get some blood work done on her. One of the tests that she needed done they could not do at the hospital we were at. We needed to go to Bangor. Off we went. The other kids were with Matthew's mom.
She was a trooper. She napped in the van on the ride up. She would chat with us. The pains she would get were not as strong, but still happened. Our minds were whirling with what ifs. Not a place you want to go, and yet somehow you find yourself there. I was glad I was driving. It helped to keep my mind occupied.
At the hospital she had the blood work done, and we went home.
Life moves at a turtle speed when you wait for doctors to call you. Somehow you continue getting things done. All the while keeping a watchful eye on you sick daughter.

The call comes. It was the Doctors office. Her blood work was not normal. We needed to go to the cancer center in Brewer to have some more extensive blood work done...
My world stopped. Nothing mattered anymore. I couldn't think, or breath. Cancer Center? Ran through my mind like a freight train.
Life moves at a turtle speed when you wait for doctors to call you. Somehow you continue getting things done. All the while keeping a watchful eye on you sick daughter.

The appointment was set up. We didn't tell the other kids or Rachel anything. Just that they needed to do more blood work.
The day came. It seemed like an eternity to me.
During all this there was much prayer. Much confusion, and still trying to function normally, and buy a farm. But that didn't matter. Life was on hold.
We get to the doctors. We get taken in. She gets her blood work done. We wait. Keeping cool, and not alarm Rachel. We read a story together on the couch. She eats a snack of chips. We get taken in to a room where we wait for the doctor. The doctor walks in. My palms are sweaty and my heart racing, and I'm fighting a silent scream in my brain. I look to Matthew. He's silent. He looks at the doctor. The doctors first words were:
"Let me get the hard part out of the way. There is nothing wrong with your daughter..."
Now those words penetrate my heart, mind, body and soul. They still do today. I still get teary eyed just thinking of it. Like now as I type. I'll never forget because it was Rachel's 10th birthday.
Relief. Thankfulness.
"Your daughter had a bad virus that took her body for a ride and that was her way of fighting it off was her off blood work."
I'm blinking rapidly to keep from crying. Rachel is looking at us with her big beautiful blue eyes and big smile. We chat for a little longer with the doctor and then we leave.
We bought Rachel McDonalds for lunch, per her request. And start the drive home.
 We were quiet for a while soaking it all in. Then I said:
"Matthew, what would we do if we were in the county? We have no one up there."
"I don't know." was his only response.

We had quite a nice birthday party that evening. We were all very thankful that this had turned out the way it had. She was fine, and healthy. We could breath. Life could continue.

No comments:

Post a Comment